If I began this story by telling you that we had ten babies born and unborn and that there are diamonds in the hills of KZN you’d think I’ve gone nuts right?  There’s more: the man behind #EstinaDairy got R10000 bail (not Ace, don’t get too excited this isn’t a fairy story) and that SAA was privatised and not privatised.  Now what do you think?  You got it, another week in SA!

Do you want to make sense of this nonsense?  That’s why I’m here.   The babies if you ask me, never existed, in fact Twitter are calling them the #ContinentalPillow and I believe the mother is now in for psychiatric evaluation – no need because the story showed us so much, it showed us which media houses could be bought and by whom. When #IqbalSurve is the good guy and #DaliMpofu publicly acknowledges the #thembisaTen, then you know.  I found this story so much more than useful, it made me feel better about not trusting certain mainstream media.

The headlines broke, #diamonds in KZN and people scurried like ants with picks and shovels, it was like I was cast back in time to the #goldRush but it’s the year 2021!  Large chunks of crystal-like pieces were being pulled out the ground and yet still today no one has verified if they are or aren’t diamonds.  Which means they are, right?  I mean a diamond dealer would be able to tell in five minutes, just bring one from the Jozi and he’d be offering you a sum literally within the time it takes to lift a magnifier to his eye.  The media is silent on authenticity and people continue to dig, one person found forty, I hope they really are diamonds imagine how his life would change?  Three digging together found a massive “crystal” and decided to chop it up into three pieces – well that’s fair, isn’t it?  I’m quite tempted to pick up my beach spade and have a go, but, umm, No.

#Covid19 numbers rise like a tidal wave as we hit over 13k in one day.  #Gauteng is a very dangerous place, and I’m not talking about crime this time. I personally have 12 friends with #Covid19 in Johannesburg and one person had seven family members die in ten days. Seven!  It’s no wonder we were gathered at a #FamilyMeeting when the #President moved us to #Level3.  Ah, #Level3 that level we never understood, the one that basically stops booze, I type this with a cigarette and relief that #dlaminiZuma doesn’t grace my screen as often as she did and then I remember we don’t have a #HealthMinister, we have dumped two million vaccines in Gqeberha and our roll out is slower than the #ArmsDeal Trial.

#Mkhize failed to appear at the #IntegrityCommission, I’m not sure why, they don’t actually DO anything, #Zweli, have you seen anyone disciplined through the #IntegrityCommission?  They’re just going to tell you that you’ve lost your integrity, and let’s be serious here, you probably sacrificed that a while ago.

It was #June16th, a day where we should reflect on how far the youth have been able to rise since that horrific day when we shot children in the back.  Today we have an unemployment rate of 43% amongst our youth and there is simply no school with the pandemic.  I’m not talking about those that sit at #Crawford, I’m talking about the majority of South Africans.  Small children are left with their grandparents as standard in our country, why? So that Mom can get a job.  Those that are in school have no access to actual education.  There’s no home schooling when there’s no electricity, no free internet and no laptop to even begin an educational journey.  Thank goodness for the outstanding performance of #Sarafina or the whole day would have been depressing. #HelpASchoolChild friends, don’t leave the masses of our youth without the ability to enter our economy.

They told us they privatised #SAA, 51% nogal!  I was excited, even though I have no idea why SAA still exists, I was excited that the opportunity of #PrivateSector would turn fraud and corruption into fraud and functional.  My excitement turned to an eye roll so large that I had to get my spectacles checked, I actually did, I need new ones, but I digress…  So that airline thingy, turns out that the #consortium #Takatso is really the #PIC – not so private at all – ha! Privatisation my tiza.  (It’s an Arabic word, no guessing what it means)

#JudgeZondo gave a speech at the #StateCaptureCommission and said he’d applied for an extension of a few months.  He also said his report will be out in late August, early September. Question:   Is it a coincidence that elections are the following month?  Answer: There’s no such thing as coincidence, it’s called planning.  I adore #DCJ, I would vote for him in a heartbeat, but he is ineffectual as #Zuma still sits in #Nkandla, unphased by the highest court in the land. Yesterday we had both #Gigaba and #Singh finish their testimonies; I fell asleep (it’s my night viewing) because #Gigaba uses fourteen words for every one needed.

#Harrismith and many other places across the country are shutdown with #ServiceDeliveryProtests.  You don’t hear these stories, but here in the rural part of KZN province, we are acutely aware that there are lots of towns that you have to avoid to be safe on a journey back to Johannesburg from the borders of Mozambique.  Under reported?  Nah, it’s just not news anymore. Just like #Malema’s rally that the #DA says is a conspiracy to spread #Covid19.  I know I’m boring you so I’ll up my game.

#Ronaldo tanked #CocaCola’s shares with a three second movement, if you missed it, he was at a press conference and in front of him were two bottles of Coke (sponsorship you see) and a bottle of water. He glared at the Coke as if someone had vomited on the table, picked the bottles up and shifted them out of view, lifted the water bottle and proclaimed “Aqua” and with that the share price for Coke came tumbling down.  Think influencers don’t matter? Think again!  As we’re talking international stories, the #G7Summit saw a bunch of rich men and Angela sit around a table and decide how much money to shift around and to whom.  We should care, we really should, but I’d rather tell you that #Botswana found the third largest diamond in the world, this one is real!  Enjoy your weekend, help a kid who needs it, you’ll feel great, I promise you that.

Tonya Khoury is a Director of Acumen Media and a regular contributor on The Morning Mayhem on 101.9 ChaiFM